Oh heaven help us if this is where movies are going - shoot me before it gets worse please.
DISCLAIMER: all notes given on this movie are given of my own opinion - and added thoughts from two of my friends Hanna and Shilpa (they're both very verbal. Very.).
1. The first problem I had occured with the opening scene. Yes, I get that Jacob is really upset about Bella getting married - but we all know you're taking your shirt off because teenage girls love a half naked guy who's ripped. I actually secretly liked it (oh come on, so did you!)
2. The nightmare? Come on son! Not only was it obviously blue screen/computerized, but it was just poorly done and weird in general. Not at all effective.
3. The wedding was visually esthetic. One of the few good points of the movie (oh gosh it was beeaaauuutiful!)
4. The toasts were the climax of the movie - from there it all went downhill.
5. The acting did improve (finally. After four movies). Taylor, Kristen, and Rob did a good job in the Jacob confrontation scene during the wedding.
6. The first half of the movie is a porno. And not even a good porno - if I have to watch a porno it might as well be good right!? [sarcasm]
7. How did they make it from the ocean to the bedroom during that sex scene. Awkward shift.
8. Kristen Stewart is so awkward in lingerie. Just sayin. (actually, she's awkward in general)
9. Admittedly, I started liking Kristen Stewart as an actress a lot more - it started with the chicken scene. Some of my doubts concerning Snow White and the Huntsman have been washed away! (bravo)
10. I liked that they included a little bit of a Jacob scene. But then the wolves ruined it. It looked like they had taken different videos of wolves doing wolvy things and then pasted them all into the same background. Bad bad bad bad bad. Also, the wolf voices really bothered me. Was it a gruff voice, or a normal voice? Make up your mind! Really bad CGI
11. The drinking blood part!? I thought I was gonna puke, most disgusting thing i've ever seen in my life (until the end of the movie).
12. I did actually really love the scene where Edward discovers he can hear the baby - better acting!
13. The second half of the movie was a horror. Not like a suspense horror, the kind of horror were they show you images and instances that makes you want to puke up your popcorn. Do you remember the birthing scene from the book? They show that. All of that. It starts with the falling cup and Bella/Kristen breaking in half the wrong way (ouch!). Then it moves on to the birthing scene were she's screaming her heart out as they cut her open (complete with squishy sound effects and blood spraying in everyone's faces). Moving on to more screaming so hard you would burst a blood vessel and/or puke up your large intestine, and then transitioning into Edward deciding that he needs to basically chew their baby out of her womb (and yet his hair and face stay almost perfectly arranged and clean... weird). The whole time Kristen looks like a meth addict going insane. Admittedley, the acting on her part was also well done for this scene. Oh, and it didn't hurt that the baby was adorable.
14. Don't forget the needle (that's actually a giant knife) that Edward stabs into her as he tries to revive the dying love of hislife existence.
15. For some odd reason, the director felt a need to close in on Kristen's nose and then jump to a terrible CGI of moving blood vessels and veins. It looked like something off the magic school bus.
16. The imprinting scene was NOT visually esthetic, which is probably what they were going for, but it failed. However, the distressed Jacob was absolutely heart-breaking! I felt so sad watching him cry.
17. Wait... that whole wolf vs vamps scene never happened in the book. ever. never ever. I feel like they only added it because they could tell the movie was getting slow.
18. During the entire movie (and especially towards the end), I felt like the director/producers were trying to encorporate different artsy images and ideas, but all it ended up looking like was a cheap movie done on a pathetic budget. Which is weird because Breaking Dawn cost a LOT of money.
19. The credits were awful. You can always tell a good movie by it's credits - and these credits sucked.
Well that basically sums up the movie, oh, did I mention the spoiler alert in the middle of the credits?
4. The toasts were the climax of the movie - from there it all went downhill.
5. The acting did improve (finally. After four movies). Taylor, Kristen, and Rob did a good job in the Jacob confrontation scene during the wedding.
6. The first half of the movie is a porno. And not even a good porno - if I have to watch a porno it might as well be good right!? [sarcasm]
7. How did they make it from the ocean to the bedroom during that sex scene. Awkward shift.
8. Kristen Stewart is so awkward in lingerie. Just sayin. (actually, she's awkward in general)
9. Admittedly, I started liking Kristen Stewart as an actress a lot more - it started with the chicken scene. Some of my doubts concerning Snow White and the Huntsman have been washed away! (bravo)
10. I liked that they included a little bit of a Jacob scene. But then the wolves ruined it. It looked like they had taken different videos of wolves doing wolvy things and then pasted them all into the same background. Bad bad bad bad bad. Also, the wolf voices really bothered me. Was it a gruff voice, or a normal voice? Make up your mind! Really bad CGI
11. The drinking blood part!? I thought I was gonna puke, most disgusting thing i've ever seen in my life (until the end of the movie).
12. I did actually really love the scene where Edward discovers he can hear the baby - better acting!
13. The second half of the movie was a horror. Not like a suspense horror, the kind of horror were they show you images and instances that makes you want to puke up your popcorn. Do you remember the birthing scene from the book? They show that. All of that. It starts with the falling cup and Bella/Kristen breaking in half the wrong way (ouch!). Then it moves on to the birthing scene were she's screaming her heart out as they cut her open (complete with squishy sound effects and blood spraying in everyone's faces). Moving on to more screaming so hard you would burst a blood vessel and/or puke up your large intestine, and then transitioning into Edward deciding that he needs to basically chew their baby out of her womb (and yet his hair and face stay almost perfectly arranged and clean... weird). The whole time Kristen looks like a meth addict going insane. Admittedley, the acting on her part was also well done for this scene. Oh, and it didn't hurt that the baby was adorable.
14. Don't forget the needle (that's actually a giant knife) that Edward stabs into her as he tries to revive the dying love of his
15. For some odd reason, the director felt a need to close in on Kristen's nose and then jump to a terrible CGI of moving blood vessels and veins. It looked like something off the magic school bus.
16. The imprinting scene was NOT visually esthetic, which is probably what they were going for, but it failed. However, the distressed Jacob was absolutely heart-breaking! I felt so sad watching him cry.
17. Wait... that whole wolf vs vamps scene never happened in the book. ever. never ever. I feel like they only added it because they could tell the movie was getting slow.
18. During the entire movie (and especially towards the end), I felt like the director/producers were trying to encorporate different artsy images and ideas, but all it ended up looking like was a cheap movie done on a pathetic budget. Which is weird because Breaking Dawn cost a LOT of money.
19. The credits were awful. You can always tell a good movie by it's credits - and these credits sucked.
Well that basically sums up the movie, oh, did I mention the spoiler alert in the middle of the credits?
I was sad that they left out all the blonde jokes that Jacob tells to Rosalie. The movie could've used a bit of humor during all that sadness.
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